3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
