just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize