Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
MIDGETS
????
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
