I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
