Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
