Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize