Dual....:-)
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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