you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
