A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
