I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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