All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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