I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
