five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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