Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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