I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
