nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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