If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
