wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
