I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
