Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
