just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
