Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize