you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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