dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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