Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
