and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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