If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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