Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The power of my boobs compel you
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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