is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
