Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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