Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
