Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I accidentally had phone sex last night
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
