He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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