Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
