What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
