Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
