Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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