we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
