what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
