I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
this boner is exhausting
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
