ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
