I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
