it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Success! We fucked roommates!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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