theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
This toilet bowl is my home.
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