Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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