my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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