And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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