So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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