but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
