and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
