It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
