Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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