I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
