CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
