Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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