I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
