you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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