I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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