Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you would pick up someone in the library
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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