Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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