5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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