He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize