Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
