marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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