Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
