Just fell off a train. Bad.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
