Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
