I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
