Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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