I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize