I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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