She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
