In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Sorry about my life...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
