know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
