everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
