Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
