He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
