i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
