I think my fart just growled at me.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
