Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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