hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
