you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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