Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
