Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
