You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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